I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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