Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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