I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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