somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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