Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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