when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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