no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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