porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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