I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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