you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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