don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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