i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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