I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize