A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize