Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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