i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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