Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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