I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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