I could have mohawked her pubes.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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