I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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