this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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