There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize