how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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