I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
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this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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