That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize