that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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