I hope mine doesn't look like that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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