But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Barsexuality is the new black.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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