I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize