so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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