I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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