I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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