sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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