Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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