He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize