I think my vagina is haunted
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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