The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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