I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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