You're completely useless in the revolution.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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