i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize