You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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