how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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