So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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