Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize