Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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