Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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