You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize