You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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