to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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