i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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