Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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