I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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