is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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